我不知道！三壘！

One of my (American) friends the other day described my Chinese as "completely conversational", which is such a lie, I mean, it might look like from on the outside, I have no way of verifying that, but on the inside, there is so much effort happening. It's terrible. And I frequently talk like a five-year-old, no joke. Lots of people I know speak basically fantastic English (and I'm obviously referring to people who learned it as a foreign language, here) so calling my terrible Chinese anything but terrible seems pretty dishonest and wrong. I NEED MORE PRACTICE. Years and years of practice.

Speaking of which, here is a hilarious Mandarin version of Who's On First ("誰在一壘？") UNFORTUNATELY CHINESE SUBS ONLY sorry. It's an especially awesome thing and actually, super obvious to translate, because the routine is maybe the closest equivalent to traditional Chinese standup comedy, 相聲, (usually translated as "crosstalk").

最近我倆位老師她們很喜歡給我們看相聲。要是我在美國的話，我會說they're vastly overestimating our abilities。你們大概已經知道我的個性沒那麼開心，可是這是台灣，在這裡我其實應該更相信她們的看法ㄟ。所以呢，每次我好好試試聽那個相聲⋯⋯聽者聽者⋯⋯結束是我一句話也聽不懂。反正我哪裡看起來好像那個加拿大人大山啊？怎麼會聽得懂！（因為⋯ 我不是加拿大人⋯對啊。）反正呢，不過今天老師給我們看上面的那個相聲，然後發生了一個奇蹟。我聽懂了啦！那其實是因為我有聽過美國版好多次，但那不重要。重要的事，我明明中文講得跟超人一樣好。明明啊！